When One Partner Isn't Sure: Assessing and Navigating Mixed-Agenda Couples

Course #9689L-


Study Points

  1. Identify clinical signs that a couple may be experiencing mixed-agenda dynamics.
  2. Describe at least three ethical concerns related to beginning therapy with unclear relational commitment.
  3. Outline steps for assessing each partner's level of motivation and engagement.
  4. Compare potential pathways forward, including individual work, couples therapy, and decision-making interventions.

    1 . What best defines a "mixed-agenda" couple?
    A) A couple in which both partners want to improve the relationship but have different methods
    B) A couple in which one partner wants to preserve the relationship and the other is ambivalent or leaning out
    C) A couple experiencing high conflict but committed to staying together
    D) A couple attending therapy while living in separate homes

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    2 . Which of the following is a potential risk of proceeding directly into couples therapy with a mixed-agenda couple?
    A) Increased conflict
    B) Unnecessary dependence on the therapist
    C) Emotional vulnerability leading to rupture if one partner leaves
    D) An overemphasis on childhood trauma

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    3 . What is a common indirect sign to assess more for a mixed-agenda couple in session?
    A) Both partners express strong emotions.
    B) One partner takes over the conversation.
    C) Both partners express hope for reconciliation.
    D) One partner appears disengaged or reluctant to contribute.

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    4 . Which situation is most appropriate for considering discernment counseling?
    A) A couple in which one partner is leaning out and the other wants to stay married
    B) A couple where both are committed to staying together but are unsure how
    C) A couple with recent infidelity but mutual investment in repair
    D) A couple with clear trauma histories

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    5 . What is one primary goal of discernment counseling?
    A) To improve communication skills
    B) To heal attachment wounds
    C) To help partners reach clarity and confidence about a decision
    D) To facilitate emotional safety in sharing

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    6 . Which of these is MOST important in assessing each partner individually in suspected mixed-agenda cases?
    A) To build rapport
    B) To uncover personal goals and hidden ambivalence
    C) To diagnose mental health disorders
    D) To begin trauma processing

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    7 . A partner saying "I'm here because they wanted me to come" may indicate
    A) avoidant attachment.
    B) stage-of-change readiness.
    C) coercion or disinterest.
    D) resistance to vulnerability.

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    8 . Which of the following is NOT a typical flag to assess for mixed-agenda dynamics?
    A) Active affair
    B) Fear of financial insecurity
    C) Substance use
    D) Parenting disagreements

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    9 . When a couple presents with differing levels of commitment to the relationship, what is the therapist's primary responsibility?
    A) Begin attachment-based interventions
    B) Help the couple explore their relationship goals and assess for alignment
    C) Redirect the conversation toward shared strengths
    D) Encourage both partners to commit to staying

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    10 . Which statement best describes the therapist's role in early assessment of couples therapy readiness?
    A) Diagnosing individual issues
    B) Creating a shared treatment plan immediately
    C) Determining safety and alignment in goals
    D) Reframing negative patterns

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    11 . If a therapist suspects coercion in attending therapy, they should
    A) proceed with couples therapy.
    B) confront the partner in session.
    C) pause couples work and meet individually.
    D) refer to anger management.

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    12 . One benefit of addressing a mixed agenda early is it
    A) prevents premature emotional risk-taking.
    B) helps manage billing concerns.
    C) speeds up treatment planning.
    D) improves diagnostic accuracy.

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